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Hand to God

September 1, 2015

Robert Askins’ HAND TO GOD  [*****]

 

Diabolic-Puppet Gets Out-of-Hand in Church-Sponsored-Therapy-Sessions…

 

The Holy-Ghost isn’t hovering over Pastor Greg’s Community-Room.

 

Instead, Satan-Himself has occupied the Premises, introducing himself to Booth-Theatre-Audiences from a Puppet-Booth-Podium.

 

Yet, the Devil is a clever Master-of-Disguise, so he has chosen to Manifest as a Hand-Puppet,

 

Unfortunately for Pastor Greg & the Troubled-Teen, Jason, he has decided to Co-opt Jason’ Left-Hand.

 

Now, somewhere in Holy-Writ, we are told not to let our Right-Hand know what our Left-Hand is doing.

 

Jason is hardly a Bible-Student, so this Divine-Warning could not have prepared him for Tyrone’s Foul-Mouthed-Take-Over of the Puppet on Jason’s Left-Hand.

 

The Out-Witted-Jason is No-Match for his Puppet-App-Extension—who seems to have Endless-Energy.

 

Indeed, Tyrone’s Diabolic-Agenda is soon to spark Sexual-Havoc among Pastor Greg’s Flock-of-Losers.

 

How about Wild-Sex between Boy-&-Girl Hand-Puppets?

 

Jason & Tyrone are a Long-Way-Off from Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy—if anyone in the Hilariously-Guffawing Booth-Audience is old enough to remember Candace Bergen’s Dad as a Ventriloquist…

 

Stephen Boyer is certainly a Boy-Genius in doing Two-Voices with entirely Different-Personalities.

 

But he’s already won both the Obie & the Lucille-Lortel-Award for his Dynamite-Duo of Jason & Tyrone, first at Ensemble-Studio-Theatre, then at the Lucille-Lortel-Theatre.

 

Nowhere to go but Up, so he’s a Prime-Contender for a Best-Actor-Tony this Season.

 

Nonetheless, Marc Kudish is also Outstanding as Pastor Greg, who has more than a Christian-Crush on Jason’s Randy-Mother, Margery, riotously played by Geneva Carr.

 

Even without any Sexual-Encouragement from Tyrone, she is All-Over the Lanky, Lustful-Tim, who isn’t really interested in Rehearsing a Puppet-Play for the Pastor’s Pulpit.

 

Michael Oberholtzer is a Torrid-Tim, with Sarah Stiles as Jessica, whose Hand-Puppet is All-Over Jason’s Left-Hand-Sock-Puppet.

 

It’s a Good-Thing that Playwright Robert Askins chose Puppets rather than Marionettes for his Anti-Morality-Play.

 

Had Jason/Tyrone been embodied as a Modern-Pinocchio, just think what would happen not only to his Nose, but also to his Penis…

 

Hand To God is not to be confused with Act of God, which is currently at Studio 54. God doesn’t need Puppets to Get-His-Message-Across.

 

Moritz von Stuelpnagel staged with Wicked-Vigor in a Community-Room devised by Beowulf Boritt.

 

These are Real-Names!

 

Robert Askins didn’t just Invent them to make Parish-Puppetry seem even more Sexual-Fun.

 

Imagine what could happen if Askins were to write a Sequel, in which Jason & Tyrone are invited to The-Last-Supper!

 

When Bread-&-Wine become Flesh-&-Blood, Tyrone is sure to Turn-Cannibal!

 

But then, isn’t that what the Holy-Eucharist is All-About, Symbolically at least?

 

Copyright 2015 Glenn M. Loney

 

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